For every participant over 2 on a conference call, roll 1d4. If a 1 is rolled, roll percentile dice:
00-15 Testing of new ratchet on phone
16-25 Rearranging hollow metal trashcans in room
26-50 Obscene heavy breathing into headset mouthpiece
51-60 Standing in hurricane-strength wind
61-65 Bagel chips being eaten
66-75 Heavy road noise, including rumble strips
76-90 Noisy conference room speakerphone
91-98 Screaming children, barking dog in background of home office
99 Meeting moderator ends call early